Tired. Bored. Lonely. Bitter. Angry. Helpless. Controlled. Concealed. Afraid. Aggravated. Imprisoned. Obligated. I really don't have anywhere to hide today. I've ALWAYS had somewhere to hide--work, women, racing, ****, friends, school, academics, video games, chat rooms, reading. That's the comforting thing about being obsessive--you lose yourself in things, easily. You're not YOU when it's uncomfortable to be there. Obsession, fantasy, denial--they all go hand-in-hand. They're my trinity of "not dealing with stuff". Sure, sometimes reality smacked me in the face, but it was a temporary thing. I could "deal" with it and get back to where all was okay: Inside my head. Life in a bubble? Yep. That bubble led me to screw-over many good people in my life What I'm trying to do, step by step is just to be real: Stop lying to myself and others, and stop the obsessions that are just escapism. I'd like to be able to sit in a room b...