I'm exhausted.

Yes, I know all the motivational crap about The 40% Rule.  I can (and shall) push through this, Lord willing, creek don't rise, coffee maker don't fail.

Some things to highlight for future reflection:

  • I've crested 270 pounds.  I'm nearly 90 pounds up from where I was in 2012, and 30 more than when I moved here in 2016.   I'm eating myself to death.
  • My exercise routine is nonexistent.
  • My sleep metrics seem good, but I get no rest.
  • I don't read regularly.
  • I don't have any effective hobbies.  I basically work, sleep, repeat.
  • ...and yes, I happen to be on-call for my current team this week.
I begin to wonder (far too late, I suspect) that the above is unsustainable.  Other people seem to do this life thing well, and I....don't.  I seem to just work.

Forgive my conceit, but I begin to wonder if my "life" is all just a fever dream of me lying in a hospital bed, lamenting I chose work over everything else.


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