Stream of Consciousness Randomness

Some things are stories.

Some things are not.  There are facts I remember about my idiosynracies and ticks, and those of my fellow humans that just don't go anywhere.  They're kinda just...there.

These are those:


  • I once roomed with a guy D.E.F.  D had this curious Pavlovian response to riding in a car for any length of time > 2 minutes.  He'd go to sleep.  My other roomie once took him on a road trip from Georgetown, Kentucky, to Jackson, TN.  D slept the entire way there and the entire way back.
  • I hate the blue ring optometrists use for glaucoma checks.  Basically it goes like this: They dilate your eyes, you can't open them for love or money, and then you need to open like a droog from Clockwork Orange so the optometrist can move this DEATH MACHINE towards your eyeball.  Really, it looks like a scene out of a Bond Movie, complete with bad dialog.  Only here the thing--it's not Sean Connery's penis they're going to ginsu, it's YOUR EYEBALL.  Usually, this procedure takes like 2 minutes at the end of the exam.  Poor Dr. Jones in Jackson, Ky used to devote 20 minutes to this and we both dreaded it.
  • Supposedly, there's a puff-of-air thing they can do to check for glaucoma.  I believe this is a lie perpetrated by optometrists, cruelly giving false hope there will be no more BLUE RING DEATH MACHINE.
  • Once something reaches a certain level of messiness, I mentally refuse to deal with it.  I focus my attention somewhere else, like a pair of shiny keys or maybe the weather outside.  This drives my wife nuts, part 1.
  • When I'm upset, I fold things.  I've compulsively folded an entire load of towels without realizing it. 
  • When I'm REALLY upset, I clean things.  I once reorganized my DVD collection at 2am while listening to PCHH
  • I have an extreme fear/fascination thing with knives.  Once when I was 2 or 3, I got my dad's jacknife out and cut my fingertip to ribbons.  Whenever I see my kids near one, I'm sure the same thing will happen to them.  Yet, I like knives very much--my father and I used to bond over them every Christmas--and my cherished birthday present this year from my wife was a Ken Onion Chive by Kershaw.
  • Segue: I used my pocket knife in lieu of scissors when wrapping all my gifts this year.  Yes, I'm unaccountably proud of this.
  • I seemingly can't do household chores without music or a podcast playing.  This drives my wife nuts, part  2.
  • I have a mental block about the following things:  Housepainting, Barbecue Grilling, Drum Brakes, carburetors, general carpentry, automatic transmissions, audio/visual equipment, HVAC operation & repair.  I'm sure I could think of others.
  • People with explosive tempers and feelings of paranoia oughtn't own firearms.  I do not own firearms.
  • Tempur-pedic isn't all hype.  Try one for yourself.
  • As I get older, I find increasingly fewer things offer any escape.  Video games, meh.  Kids...sometimes.  Joey's gone this week, and I miss him pretty badly.
  • My phone is like a security blanket.  Seriously can't believe how fast I got here from May 'til now.  This drives my wife nuts, part 3.
  • I basically couldn't care less what I wear, provided it's decent and has < 2 holes in it.  #tdmwn

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