What I've been doing lately

Cleaning-up my life, mostly.

Next week will mark 9 months on the upward swing, moving from a place of depression, passivity, and "life of quiet desperation" to a place of reality, assertiveness, and self-confidence.  I'm not "there" yet.  Likely, I never will be, fully--that's the humility that comes with this process.  Growing-up and gaining contentment (NOT complacency!) is a continuous process.

Things that have helped me along the way, so far:

  • My wife.  Really, I can't say enough about her.  She is my match, in all ways, and I know now why God put her in my life, and BACK in my life.  She's taught me logic and certainty.  Her belief is the bedrock of everything she does, and it's led me back to God.  Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth (Ps 5:18)
  • My children.  It sounds like a platitude, perhaps it is: Having kids changes you forever.  Joey made me understand vulnerability and self-control.  Maria saved me from my selfishness at my darkest moments.  Grace has taught me the simple pleasure of being a father.  I thank God for all three.  Behold, children are a gift of the LORD.  The fruit of a womb is a a reward.  (Ps 127:3)
  • My accountability group, in particular A.G.  There are certain things, as a man, you just need another (wiser) man's perspective upon.  With that, understanding that what I feel and want at any specific moment is different than what's right.  I can rationalize much in the moment; I can defend little of that upon further examination.  The way of the fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel (Ps 12:15)
  • The Bible.  Read it.   Drop your agenda, drop the footnotes and the glossary, and just READ a modern translation, particularly the Gospels.  Love it or hate it, you won't be indifferent to what's there.  So far, I'm through Matthew, Romans, and Hebrews via YouVersion on my Atrix.  I discuss it w/Whitney and I find those passages coming to mind throughout my day.
  • God.  He loved me enough to die for me--lying, cheating, selfish me. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  (John 3:16)


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