Feelings, musings, and what's wrong with rumors...

I call this blog Harry's Ruminations, because I think alot, and right now, I'm obsessed with how much things suck and how little I can do to stop them from sucking.

First, let's get it out of the way: I lost yesterday. I had a good, fun day, but I lost, finishing 3rd out of 6 drivers. Interestingly, all of us were on r-compound tires, so this isn't a bad showing, and I actually lead the class for most of the runs, but I never improved on my 63.7 time, so I got beat by a 62.4 on the last round, then knocked out of 2nd by a 63.4.

Anyway, what's really got me down: Work just flat-out sucks. We just went through a round of layoffs (275, prolly closer to 300) and today I heard rumor of a forthcoming 1500 around December. I should be concentrating on my wedding plans, moving my new family to our house, and building a new life, but all I can think of is how crushing work is.

Also, the team situation...I just don't know if we're going to make our milestone on Friday. They've known about it for 4 weeks, I've set them intermediate milestones, timelines, and meetings. I've held their hands, kissed their boo-boos, and protected them from reality enough so that they can concentrate.

Apparently, that's not enough. I'm barely holding this all together as it is, and the reality is, I'm going to be gone on honeymoon and that's just how it will be. The last time I left on vacation (for THREE DAYS), this team fell to pieces. Ugh...

Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I'm feeling pretty stupid these days.


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