Harry's Ruminations

It's 1:38 pm. But for a snowstorm on Thursday, this would be my 7th straight day at work. I'm doing things that people variously term "unwise," "strange," or "nearly impossible." I've nearly gotten them to work, but not yet.  That's why I'm here.

"Well, sir, you certainly didn't have afternoons like *this*, when you were doing the Architect Gig." Gotta love that inner critic.  There's always something . My response:  Indeed, but I didn't *ever* have weeks like last week where we found and solved problems in realtime with a team of engineers, either.  It was lonely, and devoid of the kind of dopamine-enhanced highs I got. Last week was hard.  Every day except for Wednesday, I was here 'til late.  On two nights, mine was the last car out of the parking log.   Snowpocalypse 2015 put us behind, and a Linux/PAM story that won't die put us even farther behind. I'm enjoying it, but not today.  Today, I'm just tired. Time to drive to Louisville to get Joey.

So, Maria and I are swimming. Maria tends to take after me, in that she can look at food and gain weight, and she rather enjoys food.  We both eat our emotions, and emotions we have aplenty. Right after the new year, I noticed just how crotchety I felt, even at 36 years old.  My back hurt constantly, I had little energy, I couldn't deal with stress, etc.  Maria was enrolled in swim classes last year and we found out she had limited range-of-motion in her right arm, basically from atrophy. Atrophy at 8 years old.  Yikes. The doctors recommended swimming as a low/no-impact full-body aerobic workout, and I readily agreed.  Every morning from 6:30 to 7:30 or so we're at the local rec center swimming. I've got to admit: The first week nearly killed me.  Between getting up at 5am again and just the activity of swimming < 50m was exhausting.  Right before snowpocalypse 2015, I was really questioning if we were making any progress at all.  My...

It's been a stellar couple of days for Joey's sense of humor.  Representative samples. "Yo' momma so fat, Arnold Schwarzenegger tells her to GET AWAY FROM DA CHOPPA!" * * * [Interior: The Combs Clan sits around the table] Whitney (to Harold): You know, when you lie, you get spots on your face. Harold: O RLY?  Tell me something and I'll lie in response. Whitney: Yeah, say 'I like titty-twisters.' Harold: I...like...titty-twisters. Joey: Now tell us a lie.

Contrary to popular opinion, I can swim. I actually took snorkeling lessons in 3rd grade and was utterly "into" SCUBA-diving.  I loved the water. However, I got awfully used to having swim fins, a buoyancy compensator, and a mask on.  Read: I got lazy.  Free swimming just didn't interest me, so I never learned to swim properly: diving, the basic 4 strokes, etc. So, serendipity arrived this new year when Maria's PT announced that she needed to work-out, every day and that she needed to swim. For the past two mornings, I've risen before 6am to take my daughter to our local parks and rec facility to swim.   It's been great, but my whole body aches in a way only an atrophied 36-year-old can.  It's not one specific joint; it's much of my chest and legs. But hey, it's something.   Since changing my brain chemistry, I'm up 10 pounds.  I'm up an unbelievable 45 pounds since summer 2012, and I feel every ounce of it.

Bad  engineers try to convince you don't have a problem Good  engineers solve your problem Great  engineers help you understand the problem that caused your problem, then solve that. Yes, I'm trying to create those little office placards in my spare time.   I'm sure someone, somewhere has said this better, but it does seem to be true.   I was thinking about some senior people, and what seems to differentiate the goods from the greats is that capability of seeing the heart of an issue and keeping perspective.

So I resolved to change part of my regimen about 4 weeks ago.  Let's chart the changes. Pros I'm "me" again.  This is how I remember myself feeling and behaving prior to 2011. Coding (once I'm in "flow") is so...much...better.  Like "lightbulb coming on" better.  I've felt like my mind has been shackled for the past few years, and those fetters seem gone. My sense of humor and general perspective  is much better.   My family genuinely seems to like who I'm being at home. I have actual emotions again.  As we'll see, that's also a 'con', but the world seems to be in color again, not Black-and-White. I can be "present" once again.  Fully, wholly, don't-care-what-the-clock says present. Cons I've gained like 10 pounds.  Yes, in 1 month.  I have appetite like a man starving, but yet I'm full. I have no idea what time it is, nor can I measure its passage accurately.  Like, time dilates in...